Hot Takes

Turtlenecks: A Sketch

INT: STUDIO,PLAIN BACKGROUND. DIFFERENT WOMEN OF ALL SHAPES/SIZES/STYLES. ALL DIFFERENT BUT ALL WITH ONE THING IN COMMON: THEY ARE WEARING TURTLENECKS AND THEY ALL HAVE AN AIR OF MYSTERY ABOUT THEM. SHOT FORM THE WAIST UP.

The women are looking at the camera, interacting with each other, they are laughing, they are free, are in turtlenecks. Think a Dove Commercial but turtlenecks. Voiceover starts to comes in

VOICEOVER
She's sophisticated yet cozy.

Close up of the women tugging on the neck of the turtleneck in a model like fashion, showcasing the turtleneck.

 VOICEOVER (CONT'D)
It could be winter, spring or even summer but
she's always protecting her neck.

Shots showcasing the different kinds of turtleneck, little ones big ones, sweaters, thin materials, scoop necks, tight necks.

VOICEOVER (CONT'D)
   So straight laced yet so, so sexy.

VOICEOVER (CONT'D)
She's modest, yet so mysterious. What is she hiding
under that knit. 

We see the woman looking mysterious.

VOICEOVER (CONT'D)
   Is it the next great american novel?

 WOMAN
My editor needs these note by the morning.

         VOICEOVER
   Is it a snack for later?

Woman pulls out a piece of bacon.

        WOMAN
I know pigs have emotions, I just can’t help myself.

VOICEOVER (CONT'D)
Is it the rejection letter to all of the Ivy league schools
    she applied to and then was rejected from but she never
     told anyone that she even tried, she insisted she wanted
to go to Michigan.

Envelopes popping out of her neck line.

  WOMAN
They have an amazing psych program.

   VOICEOVER
Is it tampons? Just so many tampons? Like so so many

  WOMAN
I have a heavy flow.

VOICEOVER
Or is it all the serums and lotion she uses to keep said
 neck so supple and soft but then doesn't have the
confidence to show that neck off because she is in her
 ( GASP) early 30's.

WOMAN
It's just my chin does this thing where it exist on my face.

VOICEOVER
The turtleneck, hiding the secrets of womanhood for…
Woman enter the scene, wearing a turtleneck.

WOMAN
Oh, I am not hiding anything I wear a turtleneck cause if a man
 tries to strangle me it will take longer for him to you know
(pantomimes getting strangled/ getting murdered)

The other woman start to nod about this reveal.

VOICEOVER
 That makes sense.

WOMAN
Yea I might be listening to many murder podcasts but I
 haven't been strangled yet. So it seems like a win.

VOICEOVER
Turtlenecks, your first defense against getting strangled.